Bullies and Other Fans

[a***@gmail.com]

so I belong to a couple of FB groups related to Barry Manilow. They're a fun diversion, most of the members seem nice, and a couple people seem interesting, in a good way. I'm sure other people here follow the same FB groups.


Anyway one FB member is a very talented artist. She paints portraits of Mr M which she sells to private clients and also has donated some of her paintings to raise money for the MMP.

Evidently there was some drama involved with the charity donation of her paintings (of course there was.....it's Barry Manilow fans) but I don't know the details and don't care to know....what is it my business? But she attracted a degree of attention in Manilowland as a result of her art and her connection to the MMP.


So the presenting problem is someone's been reporting all of her FB posts, ALL of them - and all are completely innocuous posts - to FB and as a result her posts get deleted and she gets suspended from posting for periods of time. Since her posts are NBD, whoever is reporting her is doing so to be mean and vindictive for some reason. Evidently FB doesn't look at the reported posts' content, FB just deletes them. She's finding this quite distressing and as a result she's leaving FB.


Similarly, things got out of hand right here at alt.fan when a couple people went off on me. Like my FB friend, I considered leaving this group as a result.


And far more seriously, one of our members here shared that she was targeted by someone who contacted her supervisor at her job. The person making allegations against her seemed to have intentions of causing real harm.



It would seem there's a subset of Manilow fans who are bullies and vindictive. If anyone separates themselves from the pack in any way, these people go in for the kill. Their motivation for doing so is unclear, probably known only to them.


I don't belong to any other fan groups so have no basis for comparison, but I wonder if this is true in other fandoms, or if it is a phenomenon unique to this one.

I wonder, is there a greater number of bullies and crazies in Manilowland than one would expect, in terms of statistical probability? And if so, why?



From attending shows I've observed some weird fans (shout out to "Tampa Drunk Barbie") and the streamer-covered fans, and the rush-up-to-the-stage fans, and the "look-Barry-I'm-wearing-your-face-on-my-shirt-for-some-reason" fans but at least these people sort of keep to themselves.


Patricia Butler touched on crazy fans in her book, but again, those fans seemed to stay in their own little worlds rather than engage with others.



As far as fans targeting other fans, that seems to be an online thing. I wonder how many fans have abandoned their online presence as a result of being bullied or targeted in some way?


Thoughts and opinions?

Best,

Annie

[marvin]

Dear Annie,
While I do not post on many Facebook groups, I highly doubt that the bullying effect you are seeing in Barry Manilow Facebook groups are unique to Manilow groups. There is a lot of bullying unfortunately in every aspect of life and we just have to cope with the many problems of bullying. Thanks for bringing up the topic, Marvin

[a***@gmail.com]

Post by marvin
Dear Annie,
While I do not post on many Facebook groups, I highly doubt that the bullying effect you are seeing in Barry Manilow Facebook groups are unique to Manilow groups. There is a lot of bullying unfortunately in every aspect of life and we just have to cope with the many problems of bullying. Thanks for bringing up the topic, Marvin

Hi Marvin,

There does seem to be an increase in hostility across the board these days as far as political discourse is concerned. I suppose this is the natural outcome of the divisive narrative put forth daily by the current administration.
Our country is polarized as never before, the Civil War being excepted. My Mom believes the country is headed for another Civil War, between the far right and the left, and I'm not sure I disagree with her.


Returning to the topic of Manilow, generally fans are gracious and the discussion is fun. It's the exceptions that caught my attention and curiosity of late, particularly when an individual is singled out in some way. I suppose anyone who has an online presence should be prepared for both the good and the bad.

Best,
Annie

[Sheila]

I had to comment because there are people who would consider fans who lust after a star’s gay husband a bit out of the ordinary!! It’s each to their own
There are fall-outs in every group I know of - be it cat rescue, hill walking, keyboard playing, or fans of a certain musical. You nearly always end up with splinter groups.
I don’t think Barry fans are any worse than any others in the psycho stakes and there’s always someone who takes it too far, in whatever walk of life (e.g. I know a cat rescue who are continually undeservedly reported).

[a***@gmail.com]

I had to comment because there are people who would consider fans who lust >after a star’s gay husband a bit out of the ordinary!! It’s each to their own

Hi Sheila, Thank you for illustrating my point.

There are fall-outs in every group I know of - be it cat rescue, hill walking, >keyboard playing, or fans of a certain musical. You nearly always end up with >splinter groups.
I don’t think Barry fans are any worse than any others in the psycho stakes >and there’s always someone who takes it too far, in whatever walk of life (e.g. >I know a cat rescue who are continually undeservedly reported).

Now that you mention this, I left a FB group earlier this year because of bullying --- it is a FB group for nurses. Of all things! I was not targeted but several people were, and quite rudely called out, for posting their opinions which differed from the majority in the group. I left because I didn't want to be associated with bullying in my own profession.

Best,

Annie

[dcsharon]

I am unfamiliar with the fan that is painting pictures of Barry and offering them for sale, or as a fundraiser for MMP. There are rules for doing such things (as MMP is a 501c3) so if she was sellilng raffle tickets (or the like) and taking the donation as a personal one (aka, not allowing those that donated to claim their own deduction) there maybe some legalities to what she was doing. Or, if she was like some other fan groups that held raffles, they either (a) never donated the prizes, or (b) their "friends" won (go figure). Or, an instance where a well known long-time fan was down on her luck. Some fans pitched in to raffle off some of their Manilow treasures to give her the proceeds. She never saw a dime.

So, yes, there are bullies in every crowd - no matter your fandom. These bullies let people belive they have an "in" with Barry and Camp Manilow, and get people to do them favors just so those gullible fans think they will be added to the inner sanctum of fandom. But they have no "in" -- it's all smoke and mirrors, but these fans want you to believe they are BFF's with the Manilow team.

And that section of Butler's book about the wackadoodle fans in the UK that have a 'cuppa with Barry (and more?) That was almost verbatim from another fan book we read years ago.

(DC) Sharon

[a***@gmail.com]

Post by dcsharon
I am unfamiliar with the fan that is painting pictures of Barry and offering them for sale, or as a fundraiser for MMP. There are rules for doing such things (as MMP is a 501c3) so if she was sellilng raffle tickets (or the like) and taking the donation as a personal one (aka, not allowing those that donated to claim their own deduction) there maybe some legalities to what she was doing. Or, if she was like some other fan groups that held raffles, they either (a) never donated the prizes, or (b) their "friends" won (go figure). Or, an instance where a well known long-time fan was down on her luck. Some fans pitched in to raffle off some of their Manilow treasures to give her the proceeds. She never saw a dime.

No apparently she worked directly with the Manilow camp when she donated her work and Mr M autographed the paintings. I don't think she had any involvement with the auction itself other than donating her work. But I don't know her personally so cannot vouch for any aspect of this - just repeating what I read in her posts. Her work is really beautiful BTW -She paints a variety of subjects-- very talented. She lives in the UK I think.

Post by dcsharon
So, yes, there are bullies in every crowd - no matter your fandom. These bullies let people belive they have an "in" with Barry and Camp Manilow, and get people to do them favors just so those gullible fans think they will be added to the inner sanctum of fandom. But they have no "in" -- it's all smoke and mirrors, but these fans want you to believe they are BFF's with the Manilow team.

I haven't come across any of those folks but I think they'd be fairly transparent. Anyone who was actually involved with Stiletto, the Manilow camp, or the like, would not be posting on social media and I imagine if someone went rogue and did post they'd find themselves on the outside pretty quickly. Manilowland seems like a tightly run ship, and with good reason I'm sure.

Post by dcsharon
And that section of Butler's book about the wackadoodle fans in the UK that have a 'cuppa with Barry (and more?) That was almost verbatim from another fan book we read years ago.
(DC) Sharon

well, whatever the source, those anecdotes were entertaining.

Best,

Annie

[Brenda M]

Remember, Annie ...

Every fan out here... you and I included ... is somebody else’s nut job. Nobody gets to be excluded from that.

I remember back in the old Barrynet days, I was a fish swimming in the wrong tank. There were some real barracudas chomping on my tail because I didn’t toe the line.

So I found a better tank. That’s what you do. And have fun just being yourself! Nobody can “bully” you without your permission.

Cheers -

Brenda