The Peeler
2020-04-05 04:34:50 UTC
Direct from the LA Times:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Greg Carr told bemused doctors in the
Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Carr and his homosexual
partner, Klaus Schadenfreude had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our
gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Klause shouted out 'Armageddon',
my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he
wouldn't come out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match,
thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame shot out the tubing, igniting Mr Carr's hair and severely
burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers
which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine,
propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Carr suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of
the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his
anus and lower intestinal tract.
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Greg Carr told bemused doctors in the
Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Carr and his homosexual
partner, Klaus Schadenfreude had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our
gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Klause shouted out 'Armageddon',
my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he
wouldn't come out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match,
thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame shot out the tubing, igniting Mr Carr's hair and severely
burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers
which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine,
propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Carr suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of
the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his
anus and lower intestinal tract.