bearguyva@comcast.net
2018-11-06 23:11:33 UTC
Direct from the LA Times:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Elton John told bemused doctors in the
Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Elton John, and his
homosexual partner Barry Manilow, had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil,
in," he explained. "As usual, Barry shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue
that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come
out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the
light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame
shot out the tubing, igniting Mr John's hair and severely burning his
face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn
ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the
rodent out like a cannonball."
Mr. John suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact
of the gerbil, while Mr. Manilow suffered first and second degree burns
to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Elton John told bemused doctors in the
Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Elton John, and his
homosexual partner Barry Manilow, had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil,
in," he explained. "As usual, Barry shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue
that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come
out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the
light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame
shot out the tubing, igniting Mr John's hair and severely burning his
face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn
ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the
rodent out like a cannonball."
Mr. John suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact
of the gerbil, while Mr. Manilow suffered first and second degree burns
to his anus and lower intestinal tract.